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On the road to beating my panic disorder

This morning I woke up and I was anxious. I have panic disorder. I have the diagnose for about 1 year. It started one day, when I was returning from my friend (we where celebrating her birthday) and everything was all fine. Then at the train I suddenly felt something in my throat. I tried to swallow but it didn’t go away. Then suddenly I was starting to choke. I couldn't breath, it lasted about 3 seconds and I was scared. It did not mean much to me then because but I was a little bit concerned about it. Then a few weeks later I was going for some coffee with my friend and the same sensation started to build up again. This time it was not once, it happened about 5 times till we got to the bus station so I could go home. I was so scared, that day I had to present my work at my collage but I could not do it. You can understand why.
I came home, the next day I told it to my mother. She was thinking I had a sore throat and I was just maybe trying to throw up but couldn't ( I have a big fear of vomiting). So tomorrow I was afraid to go to the collage, I couldn't exit my house, I just couldn't. I was starting to feel the same sensation but the next day I could go out so I thought, hmmm… that was strange.
I told it again to my mother and she asked me to come home to go to the doctor, it was no problem sitting in the bus for two and a half hours (It was relaxing). Then I went to the doctor, told her everything and she gave me antibiotics but said that she thinks its not only that what is bothering me.
Then I drank it and didn't feel any batter. I was really scared. I told it to my mother and father but they told me that is because of the stress and that it will past. I was going for the city I studied with my friend on the bus and didn't feel so scared. Then when we arrived and everybody was grabbing their things in a rush I became very anxious. I asked my friend for a gum because my mouth became very dry and I felt like I was going to throw up, then the choking appeared again. It was frightening, I grabbed my bag and my friend looked at me and just said that it was really looking like I am throwing up. Then I ran out of the bus and to the tram witch was going my way home. I came to my house and i had a full blown panic attack, I thought that I am dying. I was choking all the time, and I called my mother and she told me to calm down but I couldn't. That was a really long night, I can still remember, I taught I will dye, that I am alone, only a burden to my hard working parents and I should not be alive, and didn't want this life. Then I calmed down, opened my laptop, turned on the TV and laid on the bed.
I was like that for 2 weeks, my mother asked me that was wrong but I didn't know. Than my friend who studies psychology told me that she thinks I have panic attacks. I looked it up on the internet and couldn't find the choking symptom only something like shortness of breath, but everything else was on the list. Then my mother said that my father is coming for me in the car, I packed but was so nervous that all the symptoms began to appear again and I was going mad and could not exit the house. Then my father gave me some relaxation medication and it worked.
The next day I was in bed at my home and my mother drove me to the doctor, she gave me NORMABEL tablets and sent me to the psychiatrist's office. And all the time I needed some candy so my mouth does not go dry. I entered and told her everything then she gave me something called MISAR. And gave me a appointment at some other psychiatrist's office where she said that I will go for cognitive therapy and she will monitor my medication.
As the days gone by I was still anxious but a little bit less, and still needed the candy. The drugs where working and I thought finally I am getting better a bit by bit. Every day I started to ride a bike outside, than to go on coffee, then go out but still I was not as good as I was before the treatment. Then, after about 2 months, I was sent back to the city where I studied and everything was slowly going grate. I finished the third year and all was ok.
I still couldn't go out to the clubs but I could go to meet my friends for coffee. And all was good, no rough days almost at all 

It was about a year ago, (a little bit more) and not that I am my fourth year I am dealing with a lot of the final exams. I had one day where I was so happy and well rested, I didn't think that I need the pill in the morning. But then the attack came, I was in the classroom and had to go out. I went to the bathroom and was experiencing extreme terror. My mind was at the same place it was on the day I returned with the wrong pills and the wrong diagnosis. Then I took them and waited in the bathroom for them to start working again. Then I calmed myself down a bit with some breathing exercises and was going down the stairs. I was again terrified.
I did one other mistake, I stopped consuming CITRAM, that medication witch works for long periods and is not addictive. I wanted do stop using medication all by my own but I did a mistake.
Now it is about 3 weeks later, and my panic attack began to appear most frequent. I hope it will stop soon. I have depression now because of that medication. I think I will take some before sleep, even if I don't want to. Now I am drinking CITRAM again and I hope I will recover from this panic period soon so I can get my life back.
I laid down and I am on my laptop, when I drunk my medicine in about 3 hours form now I will go and ride my back outside because this relax pose is going on my nerves. I want to go out and have a bike ride.

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